When I got serious two years ago about writing a book, I oversimplified the process. Write great fiction, find an agent, work with a publisher, sell thousands of copies. DONE. I want to hug that woman from two years ago, pat her back, while patronizing her with, "Bless your heart, you naive woman."
In reality, there was nothing easy about the process at all. Except perhaps the writing. Actually, that wasn't easy either. But it was enjoyable. The writing part is the thing that makes everything else in the process worth it.
The most challenging thing for me, even more so than the hundreds of edits back and forth, figuring out that I needed a social media influence (That consisted of more than my 33 followers), and even more challenging than the waiting, was. . .
THE FACT THAT PEOPLE. . . ACTUAL PEOPLE, WOULD READ MY BOOK.
A little about myself. I'm a Virgo, in case you find that interesting. I am also an introvert. I hate being the center of attention and prefer to be just a little in the shadows while I watch other people interact. As a writer, these traits serve me well. But as someone who wants to sell books, I'm afraid these traits don't work for me at all.
Being vulnerable and putting something out into the world that I worked so hard on, and treasure with all of my being, and not knowing how it will be received, is challenging for me. Thinking of people reading my book, and then discussing it with their friends, makes me want to vomit, just a bit. Reaching out to people and saying, "Hey, I wrote a book. Will you consider purchasing it?" is brutal. Asking my friends to tell their friends about my book is probably the hardest.
No one ever told me that the first time someone texted me to say, "I ordered your book and am on chapter 5," would rip me wide open, feeling exposed and fragile. And no one told me that on pub day, which should be a day of celebration, that I'd lie in bed, covers pulled up to my chin, and curtains drawn, so the world couldn't reach me.
I'm now a week out from that fateful pub day, and I've received so many texts, emails, and messages saying, "I'm reading your book." It's getting easier. And instead of wincing in pain, I politely change the topic. "How is the family? How are the kids?" Because talking about anyone else is so much easier, and the space I choose to live in.
So, if you're thinking about writing a book, already written it, and perhaps getting close to publishing, know this. Publishing a book, even a work of fiction that has nothing to do with your life will perhaps be your greatest test in vulnerability. But. . . you WILL survive it, your friends and family WILL support you, and when it's all said and done, you'll be a stronger person for living through it.
And now, I'm going to keep moving. Afterall, I have a second book to publish.
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